Part One
by Ramsay's Addiction
Summary: Josh Loves Taylor, Taylor loves Josh but what happens when you love someone a little to much?...
1. Chapter 1

"I cannot believe your not going to the semi Formal" My best friend Jessica said to me as we sat in her bedroom me looking at a magazine she had laying around and her painting her toenails at her desk. "nope I'm not" I replied flipping the page. "but why not?" she asked, "It won't be the same if your not there". "I'm sure you will have a blast with or without me" I replied. "Taylor" she said. "Jessica" I responded. "Besides I don't have a dress or a date" I added. "but I can solve the dress problem" she said jumping up than walking on her heels so not to mess up her toenails. "I have this black halter dress I wore to my cousins wedding" she said as she pulled a black dress out of her closet that had a baby pink sash under the bosom of the dress. "it's nice" I replied looking up at it, "but still I don't want to go ". "ugh" she said than shoved the dress back into her closet, "how can you not want to go to semi formal it's like our prom!". "that's exactly why not" I told her, "I don't do school functions". "you really suck you know that" She said and walked back to the chair at her desk and sat down. "if I suck so much than find someone else to do your hair huh" I told her with a smirk. "I wish you would have a social life outside of my brother" she said. "yeah well" I replied looking back at the magazine.

Jessica Adams had been my best friend since pre school, we had gone to the same school every years since we were 4yrs old and had been inseperable. we practically lived together, I was either always at her place or she was always at mine.

Jessica was an only child well an only biological child, her parents divorced when she was 13 and her mother remarried when she was 15 and she acquired a stepbrother Josh, whom I had developed a Major crush on the moment we met, he and I hung out a lot the summer that they first were adjusting to becoming a family and we started dating the fall of that same year. He and I had been dating for 2yrs and I was happy, but it sometimes got in the way of my friendship with Jessica, so I had to step back at times.

It was safe to say that Yes I was in love with Josh, but Jessica was more important to me than any guy.

Jessica and I were both in the 12th grade and in our last 2 weeks of high school, Josh was three years older than both of us and had been done school for a few years now. He worked at a music store during most days, but he also had a band that was creating a buzz for themselves, they had one single released and were working on going on a tour, they were usually gone during the weekends, so he was usually MIA a lot of the time. It didn't bother me a lot, we talked everyday but i didn't expect weekend many weekend dates.

"I really just don't feel like going" I told her, "I havnt honestly been feeling well a lot lately". "what do you mean?" she asked looking at me. I shrugged. "I've been so like bitchy" I explained. "yeah i kind of noticed" she replied. I looked at her than bite my tongue. "and I have just been having Major headaches and like just haven't been feeling well at all" I added, "I honestly think it's adjustment to this stupid Pill my mom put me on". "at least she's looking out for you" Jessica said. I nodded. "Yeah I don't think I want to be a mommy at all let alone anytime soon" I told her. "I agree" she replied, "so when do you want to do this?" she pointed at her hair.

"uh probably soon here" I told her, " It takes a good half hour to hour". "okie dokie" she said and got up and began to gather the things we'd need to do her hair. "so is Josh home this weekend or no?" she asked making conversation as she set the station up. "uh not sure" I replied, "I think he's going out of town though". "bummer" she replied. I nodded than closed the magazine and walked over to where she was. "do you have bobby pins?" I asked looking down at the stuff she had put on her desk. "uhh.. bathroom maybe" she replied, "want me to go look?". "I guess I could be nice and go" I replied with a smirk. "your a peach" she said. I shook my head and walked out of her bedroom and across the hall to the bathroom and opened the bathroom medicine cabinet where everything was usually kept, I saw a box at the onto of the cabinet so i stretched up on my tippy toes to grab it but i couldn't quite reach. suddenly I saw a arm reach up and grab the box it scared the crap out of me causing me to jump.

"Settle down" Josh said placing his hand on my waist. I turned to face him. he had a smirk on his face. "sorry" he said and Kissed me quickly, "but you need to grow a few inches". "thanks" I replied and returned his kiss than wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly. "you smell good" I complimented. "really?" he asked in disbelief. "mmhmm " I mumbled, "but you might want to lay off the cologne a bit", "or is it that body spray?". "i'm not even wearing body spray " he replied giving me a weird look as he pulled out of my grasp, "I had a shower this morning". "oh" i said, "hmm.. um I have to go help Jess with her hair". "oh right formals tonight" he said having and aha moment, "what time are you guys going at?". "I'm not" I told him taking the box of bobby pins out of his hand.

"your not going to your sr semi formal?" he said confused, "why not?". "I don't like dances" I told him, "why should I go anyways".

"because you would have the best looking date at the whole thing" he responded smugly. "okay mr vein" I replied and rolled my eyes. "I love you" he said. "love you to" I replied the kissed him again as Jessica came out of her room.

"Taylor" she said than noticed Josh. "oh your home this weekend?". he nodded. "Tell her she should go to formal" she said to Josh. "I tried already" he replied, "she doesn't think so". "I just don't get it" she said, "when we were little kids we always talked about our Prom and stuff and we'd get so excited!". I looked at her than replied, "well in all fairness I've grown up and Prom is not my idea of fun anymore". "it's a right of passage" Josh said, "I went to mine". I nodded. "I don't know" I told them, "I just don't see the point in all the hype honestly". "babe" Josh said taking my hand in his , "just let me take you for an hour, that way you can at least say you went".

I looked at him and bit my tongue slightly irritated, I guess in a way it was sweet he wanted to make sure I had these memories, and an hour would not kill me. I swallowed than nodded. "Really?" Taylor said getting excited. I nodded again than spoke, "One hour though and that is it!". I looked from Josh to Jessica and they both nodded. "Okay let's do this than" I said motioning to Jess to get into her room and start doing her hair.

It took me an hour to get Jessicas hair curled, sprayed and pinned up, but the end result was breath taking!, her dress was a hot pink ball gown type of dress with a corset back, gems on the front. she looked exactly like a princess.

I took the dress she offered from the wedding, and just bumped up my bangs, and straightened out my hair, For a last minute effort I thought I looked decent, not princess like Jessica but I thought it was passable.

"wow look at you to" Jessica's mom Rachel said as we looked ourselves over again in the mirror behind her closet door. "thank you" we both said. "I want Pictures come down into the family room" she urged us. "yay" Jessica said sarcastically. "you wanted this not me" I told her and cupped my arm threw hers. Josh came out of his room as we were walking down the stairs to the family room. "babe" he said with a half grin, "you look amazing". "thank you" Jessica replied with sarcasm. "and you look like nice to Jess" He added. "you clean up pretty nice" I replied. He had put on some black Dress pants and a white button up shirt and a Red Tie. He had just let his blackish brown hair go kinda messy but tame, but i loved his hair that way. "Just something I had laying around" he told me. "so what are we doing?" he asked. "pictures" Jessica told him, "In the family room". "oh Rachel caught you" he observed. We both nodded. "Well than everyone look super happy and let's go" he said with a fake grin making us both laugh.

Rachel and Josh's dad Jackson were standing in the family room when we walked in. "see Jackson I told you they looked stunning" she said touching his chest. He nodded than said to Josh, "your going to a high school dance?". Josh nodded. "Taking Taylor" he told him, "Just for an hour though". Rachel nodded and looked at us. "well you all look great" she said chipperly, "let me get some pictures of you guys".

We posed for nearly a half hour, solo shots, than group shots, than two people shots, she really went camera happy. But at the end of it we were all really happy to be going out the door.

"I have something for you" Josh told me when we were done doing photos and standing off to the side alone. "what is it?" I asked. "well you will have to see when you open it" he replied with a small laugh. I nodded as he handed me a little white box. I opened it slowly than smiled, Inside was a silver thick Tiffany chained bracelet with a heart on it, with an engraving _You are the music in me.. _one one side than _ Sept 27th (the day we had started dating)_ on the back. "this is so pretty" I complimented than threw my arms around him in a hug, "I love it thank you!". "your welcome" he replied and Kissed me. "do you want me to help you put it on?" he asked. I nodded and he took it out of the box quickly and put it onto my wrist. "perfect" he said as I hugged him again.

"what's going on over here?" Jessica asked coming over to us. "Josh got me a present I told her and held up my wrist. "oh wow that's really pretty" she complimented. "it's engraved" I added. she reached over and read the inscription on both sides. "Oh wow" she said, "that sickly sweet". I nodded and grinned from ear to ear. "you guys are so cute it's disgusting" she added. I ignored her comment as the doorbell rang. "that's probably David" she said. "your still seeing him?" I asked in surprise. "off and on " she replied walking quickly to open the door. "hello" Jessica said as she opened the door. "hello hello" David replied than smiled, "you look nice" he observed of her dress. "thank you" she replied, "so do you". David had on a look similar to Josh's not much formality to it but nice enough to pass. "I feel seriously over dressed" Jessica said with a laugh. "you look breathtaking" David told her than kissed her cheek and handed her a single Red rose he has brought for her. "thank you" she replied and smiled.

David and Jessica had Met the past summer working part time at the same place, he was 17 like us but went to the french speaking high school across town, he and Taylor had been dating off and on since they met, and I thought they made an extremely cute couple.

"are we ready to go?" David asked. "yes!" Jessica replied excited. "you promise one hour?" I asked turning to Josh. "yes promise" he replied. "okay" I said. "so we will just take my car?" he suggested. I nodded i agreement than told Jessica we would meet her at formal. She agreed than we went our separate ways to the formal.

"you really need to roll the window down in here" I Told Josh as we pulled out of the driveway. "why?" he asked. "the smell in here is overwhelming" I told him feeling my stomach get queazy. "what smell?" he asked confused. "the air freshener I am assuming" I replied and closed my eyes. "this air freshener" he replied grabbing at the faded green christmas tree looking one hanging from the review mirror, he sniffed it than threw it out the window. "that thing hardly lets a smell off anymore" he added. I looked out the window. "i don't know" I replied, "I just.. ". "are nuts" he provided wit a smile. "I must be" I said than laid my head back against the seat.

_"What The fuck is wrong with me?" I_ wondered in my head

"is there an after prom party?" Josh asked me as we pulled up to the hotel where the formal was being held. "i don't know, Jessica is the one you want to ask about that" I Replied, "don't know why you'd want to go to a high school party". "booze" he replied with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. I shook my head. "we could get a bottle of something and hang out at my place my moms out of town" I told him. "or we could do that" he said and smiled at me. I smiled back my head still laying on the seat. "do you see David or Jessica?" he asked. I sat up and looked around the parking lot. "not yet" I replied, "maybe there inside already?". "so you want to go inside?" he asked. "yeah.. sure" i agreed.

Josh got out and opened the door for me. "thank you" I said as I got out. "let's get a picture for my phone" Josh said stopping me as i tried to walk toward the door. "okay" I replied with a smile. he put his arm around me and leaned in towards me and we both smiled, "looks good" he said and than put the phone in his pocket. "you look amazing" he added taking my hand. "thank you hun" I replied and kissed his cheek. "look who i see" Josh said pointing over at the parking lot. Jessica and David were walking quickly to catch up with us. "hey!" Jessica called and rushed over and hugged me tightly. "this is so exciting!" she added as we started to walk inside. "oh very" I replied smugly. "let's go have fun" David said grabbing Jessica's hand. "yes let's" she agreed with a big goofy grin on her face.

We walked into the hotel and followed the crowd of people walking into the banquet room down the stairs. "this is beautiful" I gushed looking around the room, "wow". "you sound strangely impressed" Jessica said walking beside us. "it's just pretty thats all" I replied. "it is pretty sweet" Josh agreed, "now let's go to the stupid arch and get our picture taken". I nodded and we all went over and got our photo's taken.

"as lame as this is" I said to Josh as we sat at one of the round tables they had formally set up, "I am glad I get to share this with you". "of course babe" He replied and kissed me, "I love you". "i love you" I responded with a big grin. "you look so beautiful when you smile" he added. I kept the smile on my face as a girl wearing a deep blue strapless dress came over to our table, I knew her from a a few of my classes as Cassandra or Cassie as her friends called her. "Hey Josh' she said greeting him. Josh looked up than responded, "hey Cassie". "didn't think I'd see you here" she said. "I'm sorry" I said, "how do you know my boyfriend?". "from around" she replied looking at Josh. "around where?" I asked in replie . "just around" She said, "Um can i steal him for a dance.. Please?". I looked at Cassandra than at Josh than nodded. "go hard" I told them. "thanks" she said and took Josh's hand and lead him onto the dance floor.

I got a jealous feeling watching her cart my boyfriend off like she owned him.

"why does Cassie have Josh on the dance floor?" Jessica asked sitting down beside me at the table. "she asked for a dance" I told her. "and you said yes?" she said, "why would you let her touch him?". I shrugged. "because I don't own him and he is an adult" I said. "i suppose" She agreed not taking her eyes off her brother on the dance floor. He had a smile on his face and he seemed to be enjoying the dance, but every few seconds he'd look over at me reassuringly.

"he loves me" I said watching them dance, "I know he's smart enough to use his head". "she is kinda like the town bike though" Jessica informed me. I felt a sting of panic hearing that. "you don"t think that he.. and she.. " I said trying to say it kindly. "had sex?" she provide. "yeah" I said looking at my hands. "Hard to say" She replied, "but they've defenetly met before". "well this is a small town" I reminded her, "everyone know's everyones business". "yeah.. well watch yourself" she suggested, "and don't say I didn't tell you say if something happens".

I was slightly irritated by her assumptions and so I stood up, "I'm going to get some air" I told her. "Taylor" she called after me but i ignored her and walked across the room passing Josh on my way and slipping out the side door.

I walked out into the little garden area and sat down on a bench that was nearby and looked up at the stars. The music inside seemed so far away, and I felt a lot safer outside alone.

I sat there for what seemed like a very long time than heard the door open again. I looked over at the door and Josh walked out to find me. "there you are" he said walking over to where I sat, "what are you doing out here?". He sat down and pulled me into his arms so my back leaning on his chest and his had his head over my shoulder. "it's so quiet" I told him softly. "yeah" he replied, "I love you so much". "I know" I replied and snuggled myself closer to him, " I love you to". "are you having fun?" he asked. "okay.. not fun but its not bad" I replied. "did you want to get out of here?" he asked. I nodded. "okay" he said, "c'mon". He took my hand and the two of us walked back into the dance.

Jessica and David were dancing when we walked back in, a slow song was playing. "dance one song with me before we leave?" Josh asked. "okay" I agreed, "but just one". He nodded than took my hands in his and we danced slowly to the music. I laid my head on his shoulder as we danced and I felt so safe and so complete i his arms.

"ready to get out of here?" Josh asked when the song ended. I nodded than we walked out of the dance and out to the car


	2. Late CH 2

I woke up the morning after Semi formal with a pounding headache, and an upset stomach. Josh and I were sleeping on the living room floor on a bed made out of sleeping bags and blankets. I wasn't sure of the time when i woke up but the birds were singing. I could smell stale alcohol in the air and was making my stomach more upset than before.

I sat up quickly than got up quickly rushing to the bathroom down the hall, I had only drank once before and this was the same feeling of being hungover. "fuck" I said washing my face off with water. I sat on the floor by the tub after i had washed my face and just sat there, I hadn't even had that much to drink the night before but it hit me like a ton of bricks. I sat there for a few more minutes then got up and walked back into the living room. Josh was still sleeping on the floor and smiled seeing him so peaceful, I decided to go take some advil and than make some breakfast for when he woke up.

I took the Advil than got out all the ingredients to make omelettes. I had gotten the eggs and milk mixed together when the phone rang in the kitchen, I grabbed it quickly and answered it on the fourth ring.

_"hello?" I said answering it._

_"Tay" Jessica replied, "how was your night?"._

_"Okay.. " I responded, "I'm hungover like a mother fucker though"._

_Jessica laughed, "well sucks to be you I'm glad i didn't drink last night"._

_"Yeah" I said and began to cut up green peppers, "so what's up?"_

_"nothing.. really" She replied casually, "but David and Me we.. well we.. we had a sleepover"._

_"Like a sleepover or a "sleepover" I asked emphasizing the second sleepover._

_"like a "sleepover"" she told me almost sounding emberassed, "we did it"._

_"yeah i got it" i said with a laugh, "Wow you gave it up.. really?"._

_"yeah.. it was crazy " she said, "But in an amazing way"._

_"wow" i replied, "so should I get you a card to congratulate you on no longer being a virgin"_

_we both laughed, "no" she said modestly._

_"maybe I should get you a box of condoms than" I joked. _

_"like you use them" she said._

_"i actually do" I replied, "no one likes STD's"._

_"yeah.. anyways" She said changing the subject, "we should go do something this weekend"._

_"like?" I asked putting the green pepper into the eggs._

_"camping?" she suggested, "up at the cabin"._

_"camping?" I replied, "you think that Josh would like to go camping?"_

_"i don't know" she said, "why don't you ask him than get back to me?"._

_"yeah.. i guess" I responded, "might be fun some swimming and campfires"._

_"oh David has fireworks" she pipped up excited._

_"oh wow" I said, " that be fun to"_

_"so you should totally talk Josh into going camping with us " she said with a begging in her voice._

_"i'll do my best" I promised, "but i don't know what he even has going on this weekend"._

_"i'm sure not much" Jessica said._

_"yeah.. well like I said" I replied and started to chop up an onion._

_"hey can I text you or something, I'm cutting an onion and it's hard to do on the phone"._

_"yeah sure" she agreed, "text me when you talk to Josh"._

_"will do" i told her, "talk to you later Jess"._

_"bye" she replied and we both hung up._

I bit my cheek and got back to chopping up the ingredients for the omlette. The smell of the onion was overpowering so I had to stop chopping and go out the back door and sit on the step.

The morning sun was so warm and the air was refreshing, the birds were singing sweetly and the whole early summer morning gave me a warm feeling all over my body.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the quiet. it had been a longtime since I had spent anytime sitting on the backsteps in my oversized Tshirt, I missed the simple times when the only choice i had to make was what cartoons i wanted to watch. Granted I was in love with Josh but things got pretty serious in the past year and it was at times overwhelming.

"hey babe" Josh said opening the back door. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "why are you sitting outside?" he questioned. "because I want to " I replied. he nodded. "were you making food?" he asked. I nodded. "do you want me to finish?" he asked. "no" I replied, "I just wanted some air". "okay" he said as I got up. I got up and followed him back into the house.

"what kind of cheese do you want?" I asked opening up the fridge. "any" he replied sitting down at the island counter. "okay well than your getting mozza because that's my faviorte" I told him with a half smile. "I like when you cook for me" he told me with a small grin. "And I like cooking for you" I informed him, "makes me feel good". Josh got up and leaned across the counter and Kissed me firmly, "I love you" he said softly. "Love you to" I replied and kissed him back than he sat back down.

"Jess called" I told him as turned the stove on than placed the frying pan onto it. "oh and?" he asked in reply. "and she and David want us to go camping with them" I explained. "camping?" he replied, "like real camping or cabin camping?". "cabin" I told him pouring the eggs into the pan. he chuckled and shook his head. "well I guess" he agreed, "that is if you want to". "apparently David has fireworks" I added as I put the lid onto the eggs and walked over to where Josh was sitting and sat down beside him. "is that a good idea?" he asked. I shrugged. "but I think I want to go" I added. "you got it' he agreed and smiled. I returned his smile than kissed him wrapping my arms around his neck in a hug. "camping will be a fun bonding experience" I told him than kissed him again.

We ate breakfast and my hangover subsided which made me one hamper camper (no pun intended). I let Jessica know we wanted to go camping with them and than set to packing right away. I was packing shorts and Bigger sized Tshirts when i thought to pack toiletries and my toothbrush, than it got me wondering about what the date was as I didn't remember having my actual period for awhile now, I put the things I wanted into my suitcase than walked over to the calendar on the wall and counted back the days. I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, i should had gotten mine fifteen days earlier, so i was technically Fifteen days late and just hadn't noticed. "babe do you need me to help you with anything?" Josh asked coming into my room from the shower. I shook my head no as I tried to recount to make sure I wasn't just paranoid.

"what are you doing?" he questioned as i counted again and again on the calendar. "figuring something out' I told him trying not show the panic i was having. "okay" he replied, "are you done packing?". "yeah.. yeah" I replied and walked over to the bed and sat down. "can i zip this up than?" he asked. I nodded feeling my stomach feel sick again. He zipped the suitcase up than put it onto the floor than looked back up at me. "are you alright?" he asked sitting down beside me. "I don't know" I replied looking down at my hands. "well whats wrong?" he asked. I sucked a breath in. "Josh" I said and looked at him, "I don't know, but I think Im late". "late?" he asked raising an eyebrow, "like late late?". I nodded. "fifteen days" I said pressing my lips together. "oh wow" He responded, "do you think your.. ya know?". "pregnant" I provided not wanting to let the words leave my mouth.. "yeah" I said. "I don't know" I replied, "I hope not.. Im only 17". "how could this even happen were always careful" he said as he stood up and started to pace back and forth. "how can we find out for sure?" he asked. "go buy a pregnancy test" I told him. I didn't want to be having this conversation at this time in my life. "I feel so stupid" I said and let my head fall into my hands. "don't" Josh said sitting down beside me, "I'll take care of you either way". I looked up at him and smiled. He kissed my forehead than hugged me tightly, "c'mon we'll grab a test on the way up to the cabin" he suggested. "okay" I agreed. we both got up and Josh grabbed my suitcase than we headed over to his parens house to pack his stuff for the weekend.

We drive across town to Josh and Jessica's house but on the way stopped at the drugstore and grabbed the test, I hid it in my suitcase under some clothes.

Jessica was sitting waiting patiently on the step with her stuff when we pulled up . She jumped up when we pulled into the driveway.. "holy what took you so long?" she asked. "we had to stop for gas" Josh lied getting out of the car. "okay" she replied, "pop the trunk". he nodded than hit the key on the keys to open the trunk. Jessica threw her suitcase into the car than followed us into the house. "your dad wants to talk to you before we go" Jessica told Josh when we walked inside. "okay" he replied than disappeared into the den.

"what's that about?" I asked Jessica as we walked into the kitchen to get a pop out of the fridge. "not a clue" she told me, "I'm just the messenger". I nodded and grabbed a can of coke out of the fridge.

"is david coming up to the cabin with us or driving ?" I asked as we walked back outside. "i think he's just going to hitch with us" she replied, "i'll text him and ask". "okay" I replied than opened my can of coke and took a big drink out of it. We sat there on the step for a long while before Josh came bursting out of the door carrying a small duffel bag and a case of Coke zero. "okay ladies let's get this show on the road" he said as he walked down the steps between us than quickly walked over to the car and put his stuff inside than slammed the trunk shut.

"do you guys want to go or not?" he asked opening the drivers door. "yeah" Jessica replied. "than get in" he said than got into the drivers seat and slammed the door behind him. Jessica and I exchanged looks than got into the car and did up our seat belts. "David needs us to pick him up" Jessica told Josh from the backseat. "alright" he replied and pulled out of the driveway. I looked over at Josh who seemed slightly irritated and a little mad. "hun, what's wrong?" I asked. "It's nothing" he replied in a tone that suggested he was lying. "are you sure?" I asked. "yup" He replied. He turned the radio on and no one else spoke for the remainder of the ride to pick up David.

David was sitting outside of the apartment complex he lived in with his mother waiting when we pulled up. Jessica got out immediately and rushed over and kissed him. "somethings different" Josh observed. "what do you mean?" I replied as i played with my fingernails. "david and Jess" he explained, "they're different". "yeah they had sex" I told him not looking up. "What?" he asked in almost shock. "they had S-E-X" I replied spelling it out for him. "I heard you the first time" he snapped. "well gee" I responded. "I just can't believe he" he began, "ya know with my sister". "step sister" I reminded him still not looking up. "whatever" he said as the two of them got into the car.

"Good afternoon" David said greeting us. "hey" we both responded. "how was your guys night last night?" he asked. "great" I replied. "but not as good as yours" Josh responded as he started to drive. "Josh!" I said scolding him. "sorry" he mumbled. Neither one of us spoke the entire ride up.

"are you guys fighting?" Jessica asked. "no" I replied than looked out the window ahead. "just have a lot of our minds" Josh told her than turned the radio up again.

I tried not to think about it as we drove but the more I tried not to think about it the more it occupied my mind to the point it made me physically sick to my stomach. "Josh!" I exclaimed loudly as I felt myself gag. "what?" he asked looking over. "I.. "I said than put my hands in front of my mouth to catch the vomit that came out of my mouth, i caught most of it but the rest went into my lap.

He pulled over quickly than pulled some paper towels out of the backseat. "are you okay babe?" he asked. "I.. just got really queazy" I told him embarrassed. "wow that smells disgusting" David commented. Josh and Jessica both gave him a dirty look. I cleaned my hands off than threw the napkins out the window than got out carefully. "I'll get you some clothes" Jessica volunteered than jumped up and walked to the back of the car and began rummaging around in my suitcase.

"Hey Tay" she said as she walked around the side of the car when i was standing waiting for her. "what the hell is this?" she asked holding up the Pregnancy Test we had bought earlier. I looked at Josh and we exchanged a look knowing our secret was longer our secret. "your pregnant?" She exclaimed. "were not sure" I told her, "that's why we got the test". "how could you not tell me this?" she demanded getting angry, "I'm supposed to be your best friend what the hell!". Jessica looked extremely hurt that I hadn't told her. "Jess" I replied, "I didn't know, I just figured it out before we left". Her eyes looked like she was going to cry. "It's like you don't tell me anything since you've been with him" she said. I closed my eyes feeling horrible she felt that way. "Jess, I'm sorry" I replied, "I do tell you things it's just this isn't something I even knew". she looked at me like she didn't believe me but she let it go and put the test back into my suitcase and brought me over a pair of grey yoga pants and a light pink tank top. "make your boyfriend turn his head" I ordered pointing at David. "will do" he agreed and turned his head. Jessica got into the car to make sure he would. I pulled the pukey clothes off. "wow your boobs got huge" Jessica commented. "what the hell?" I said pulling my shirt on quickly. "that's just wrong" Josh said as handed me a plastic bag to put the gross clothes in. "sorry" she mumbled. I put my pants on than double checked that I had all the vomit. "good to go?" Josh asked. I nodded. "okay" he said and stuffed the bag into the trunk and than slammed it. "you okay to get going again?" he asked walking over to me. I nodded. "kay" he said. we both got back into the car and did up our seat belts, than we were back on the road to the cabin.

We pulled up to the cabin less than a half an hour later, it looked just like it did the last time we had been there the past summer. a one story, two bedroom cabin with a nice big deck and right on the beach, a little slice of paradise. "I love it up here" I commented when we parked. "me to" Josh replied and smiled. I looked at him and smiled than we all got out of the car.

"I don't know about you" David said as he got out, "but that water looks so inviting". "yeah looks pretty good" I agreed than walked toward the trunk to get my suitcase. "i think I'm going to go swimming" Jessica said pulling her shirt off to reveal a tie around the neck metallic pink bikini top that to be honest hardly covered her boobs and made them look like cheap implants. I looked at her in shock but just kept my mouth shut as i pulled my suitecase out of the trunk. "have fun" I told her. "oh I definitely will " she told me than grabbed David's hand leading him down to the water.

"wow" I said as Josh walked around to the back to grab his own stuff. "yeah" He replied. We carried our stuff into he house and into the bedroom that had been Josh's when he was a kid when he'd spend summers at the cabin with his parents before they divorced. I put my stuff down than walked over to the newly bough queen size bed and laid down and starred at the ceiling. "babe" Josh said as he walked over to me and sat down on the bed beside me. I looked at him. "do you want to do that now?" he asked. I sucked in a breath. "I don't want to do it at all" I told him, "but what can I do?". "I know" he replied than laid down beside me and held me in his arms, "but we have to know either way so we know what to do". " I know" I said as tears began to fill my eyes and fall down my cheeks despite my efforts to hold them back. "don't cry" he begged and whipped the few that had falling out of my eyes, "we will figure this out". I nodded. We laid there for a few more minutes than I got up and took the test into the bathroom.


	3. Postive CH 3

"Has it been Three minutes yet?" I asked Josh as we sat in the bathroom on the floor while the test sat on the vanity counter. "uh just about" he replied looking at his phone. "ugh" I groaned, "this is the longest three minutes of my life!". "yeah" he agreed and leaned his head back. "I can't believe we let this happen" he added, "we could have fucked up our entire lives now". I swallowed hard and closed eyes. "three minutes" Josh said jumping up. I got up slowly and walked over to the vanity where the test sat. "are you ready?" he asked. I didn't speak just nodded in reply. "okay" he said and picked the test up off off the counter than flipped it round.

I looked down at the little white stick i had pee'd on only minutes earlier, I felt my stomach drop and my heart begin to race. "what's two lines mean again?" Josh asked looking at the test, "two lines mean not pregnant right?", "if it was one line up one line down like a plus sign your pregnant right?". I shook my head no. "not this kind of test" I told him and held the test up to the box. "Josh" I said his name than bite my lip. He looked from the test to the box than from the box to the test again than back again. "were fucked!" he exclaimed and dropped the test back onto the counter. I didn't say anything i just pressed my lips together and shook my head, I didn't cry i think I was into to much shock to cry. "I'm pregnant" I mumbled than put my hands protectively over my stomach.

17 and pregnant not exactly the life I had envisioned for myself but it was how it was now, and planned or not this was my baby and I felt a bond instantly, I couldn't tell Josh this though I knew he'd never understand. "what are we going to do?" I asked scared to know his response. "I don't know.. " he replied, "your 17". his face had sheer panic on it, like he was torn between his heart and what was right. "Yeah I'm 17" I replied, "and your 19 were not that young". "Taylor" he said softly than walked over to me and put his arms around me from behind, "I love you so much, but i don't know if were ready for something like this". I nodded as he put his hands on my stomach. "I don't understand" I said, "how this happened, were always careful". "I know" he replied. we stood there in silence for a few moments.

"what happens if i want this" I said breaking the silence, "would you make me give it away". Josh didn't say anything he just stood there holding me. "I don't know" he replied, "I..". He squeezed me tighter and than i felt tears fall down onto shirt and he began to sob. I was in shock that he was the one to cry , i was able to hold my composure for a few more minutes while he cried but than i turned toward him and saw his beautiful blue eyes full of tears and it broke me. "I'm sorry" I said, "I'm so sorry". I held him Tight and we both stood there crying in the bathroom not sure what either of us wanted to do about the situation we had found ourselves in. "don't" he said, "don't blame yourself Taylor we both made a mistake". I nodded and kissed him than laid my head on his shoulder. "we will figure something out" he told me, "whatever is best for us". I nodded as he kissed my shoulder.

"we'll figure it out" he assured me. I just nodded as I heard Jessica and David come inside.

"Where are you guys?" Jessica called out. I pulled away from Josh and composed myself. "give me a few" he said. I nodded than let myself out of the bathroom closing the door behind me.

"Hey" I said walking into the kitchen. "hey" she replied, "how's it going?". "been better" I told her and leaned against the counter. "did you and Josh do the test?" she asked pulling a juice pitcher out of the cupboard. I nodded and looked down at my hands. "and?" she asked. "I don't know.. " I replied, "I just.. ". "one sentence at a time" she urged as the bathroom door opened and Josh came out into the kitchen. "Hi" she greeted . "hey" he replied. "are you okay?" she asked, "were you crying?".

"yeah" he told her than walked over to the fridge and got a can of pop out and one for me to. "the test" she said, "your pregnant aren't you?". I nodded and took the pop from Josh. "oh wow" she said speechless, "Taylor I'm so sorry hun". "don't" I told her holding my hand up, "I don't want sympathy". "sorry" she mumbled, "So what's going to happen?". neither of us replied right away. "i think you could get an abortion" She said putting water into the pitcher. "No" both Josh and I said at the same time. we instantly looked at each other. I hid my smile, at least we agreed on one thing. "okay" Jessica said, "Well your only other option is adoption than". "i have time yet" I said, "I don't want to think right now my head hurts already". "okay" she replied. She looked at us than went back to making the lemonade she had started making.

"That water was fucking amazing!" David said walking out of the bedroom, "you guys should go in for a bit". "I'm still not feeling well" I told him and walked down into the living room and sat on the couch. THis weekend was supposed to be fun and now all I could think about was the baby in my belly and what i was going to do with it.

"what about you man wanna go shoot some hoops or something kill some time?" David asked turing to Josh. Josh shook his head no and Joined me in the living room. "maybe later man" he responded and Joined me on the couch. "you guys are wasting the day" he joked . "David" Jessica scolded. "sorry" he said and joined her in the kitchen.

I wanted to talk to Josh about the baby and what he thought we should do with it, obviously abortion was out the question for both of us, but what did he really want to do with him or her?.

I looked at him and he looked over at me than spoke, "what are we going to do with it?". I shrugged, "what do you think we should do?". "I'm not even sure" he said, "I don't want to make the wrong choice". "whatever choice we make is going to be hard no matter what" I told him. he nodded in agreement. "I don't think i'm ready to be a dad" he said, "I don't even think I like kids". I didn't say anything i just chewed on the inside of my lip. "adoption" he continued, "that seems like the logical thing to do right?". I nodded not really in agreement but more to keep him happy. "so you agree?" he asked. "sure" I said feeling my heart ache at the possibility of carrying this child for 9months than having to give it to strangers. "so monday we can call adoption agencies?" he asked. "I guess if that's what you want" i agreed. "Taylor" he said, "you will see it's just for the best neither of us are ready for this". "I know" I replied, "It's just going to be so hard". I felt myself start to get emotional again. "I know that were young but this is my baby" I said as I felt a tear fall down my cheeks, "my first baby and I can't keep it and I know that but", I took a breath in and whipped some tears that had hit my cheeks, "I can't help but want to try". Josh looked away from me, I knew seeing me like this was hard for him to. "If it was even possible you know I would support you" he told me still looking away. " I know" I said, "but It's hard". "I know" he replied and looked at me his eyes red as he fought back his tears. "please Taylor" he said, "If you love me you will do this for me". I swelled the lump in my throat and nodded. "I love you" I said. "I love you to babe" he replied and kissed me softly. I sat up than leaned over onto his shoulder. I just laid there with my head on his shoulder starring off into space.

Jessica and David decided we were all going to have a bbq on the beach with hotdogs and marshmallows. In all honesty I wasn't really in the mood to be doing much of anything, my heart was kind of heavy and my thoughts were everywhere. But Jessica insisted that we not mope around the house.

"i've got beer" David said coming down the beach carrying six-pack of beer. "right here" Josh replied holding up his hands up. David threw him one and than he opened it and started to drink. "do you want anything to drink?" Jessica asked me as we sat together on the sand in front of the fire. "no thanks" I replied starring into the fire. "once it gets darker we can set off the fireworks" David said taking a large swig of his beer can. "yeah two drunk idiots shooting off fireworks that's exactly what should be doing" i snapped. "Taylor " Josh said looking at me. "whatever I don't care" I replied and stood up and walked away quickly down the beach.

There was a dock at the end of the beach so i set my sights on that dock and just kept walking while folding my arms across my stomach. The waves were rolling in as i walked onto the dock and I looked across at the water as I walked down the dock, once i reached the end I sat down with my feet dangling.

I starred out into the water and thought about how I could make it work, how i would feel after the pregnancy, after going through carrying a baby for 9months than giving him/her away, how I would feel about Josh after or if intact he would always love me. "I'm sorry" I said talking to the baby, "I love you so much and your not even born yet", "but your dad doesn't want to be a dad, he's not ready and it's not fair to you". I felt myself get emotional again but didn't stop myself I just let myself cry. "You will have a great life". I rubbed my stomach than just starred out into the view and let myself continue to cry.

I stayed out on the dock for what seemed like hours just watching the water roll in, no one came after me and i was relieved that they let me have my time. I sat there until the sun started to go down when the sun started to go down it got kind of chilly so i decided to go back to the cabin, I had had my cry and I felt a lot better.

When I walked back up to where everyone was sitting before I found that Jessica and David had gone elsewhere and Josh was alone sitting by the fire sipping on a can of beer and looking at the fire. I sucked in a breath and walked over to where he sat and sat down beside him. He looked over at me after I had sat down than put his arm around me.

"you okay?" he asked. I nodded and leaned into him. " i'll be fine" I assured him. "i don't want to loose you" he told me. "you won't " i replied. Josh leaned down and kissed me. "whatever happens I will always love you" he added. "Me to" I replied than we both still just sat there for what felt like hours until it got to cold me for me to stand and i started to shiver, I tried to suck it up because I just wanted to sit with Josh but I eventually had to give up and I stood up and walked inside my skin full of goosebumps.

Jessica and David were watching a movie and eating popcorn on the couch, I walked quickly passed them and into the bedroom, I found the biggest sweater i could in Josh's stuff and put it on along with a pair of pink fleece pants and climbed into bed desperate to warm myself up, i laid there for a few minutes before falling asleep exhausted from the days events.

I woke up early the next morning, sometime in the night Josh Had come into the room and gone to bed because he was laying beside me with his arm over me and his head nuzzled into my neck on my shoulder. I smiled to myself for a few seconds that got the same feeling i had the morning before and rushed to get up but didn't quite make it so i had to vomit in the garbage can.

"ugh" I groaned pushing the can away and leaned against the wall. Josh rolled over and opened his eyes slowy and looked over at me. "what's the matter?" he asked. "sick' i replied. "morning sickness" he said and sat up. I nodded. "do you want some ginger ale or crackers?" he asked. "crackers?" i asked confused. "i read some stuff online last night" he told me, "it said some woman get morning sickness and crackers can help with the sickness". I smiled. "you researched pregnancy?" I said. he nodded. "aww" I said and got up and walked back over to the bed, "but what made you do that?". I laid back down as he started to explain, "I just.. i don't know Taylor" he said, "I just wanted to know what your going through and how your going to feel", "and i thought about it yesterday, maybe we should think bout it more, it's unfair to you to make you give the baby up if that's not what you really want". I was kind of shocked at his change of heart. "do you really mean that?" i asked scared he might just go back and say what he had the night before. "I really do" he responded, "Taylor, I love you so much and I can't say that i love you and make you choose between your love for me and your love for our baby". when he said those words it made my heart melt, and I realized once again why i really loved him. "I think i was just in shock" he added laying down beside me so his head was on the same pillow and our faces ware only inches apart, "I mean we always used condoms like all the time". I nodded to indicate i was understanding what he was saying. "maybe it's some sort of omen" I replied touching his cheek and stroking it with my thumb. "an omen?" he replied confused, "like what?". "like good luck" i said with a small smile, "our lives are about to change weather we keep this baby or give her away". "her?" Josh said with a smirk, "how do you k now it's a girl?". "mothers intuition" i responded with a giggle. Josh smiled at my laugh than kissed me. "can you even imagine what our baby might look like?" he asked as he reached over and touched my still flat stomach. "i hope she has your eyes" I said. "with your smile" he replied. "and your music talents" i quipped. "with your kind heart" Josh added pulling me even closer to him. "i think our baby will be beautiful" i told him and laid my head agains this shoulder.

"I think your beautiful" he replied and stroked my hair with his hand. "i wonder how my mother is going to take it" I said chaining the subject. "uh.. she will probably want to cut my dick off with a meat cleaver" he replied serious. I laughed at the thought. "yeah.. she is going to kill me' he added, "but than she should get over it ok". "I hope so" I said, "what about your dad and Jess's mom". "yeah they might be upidy to" he said, "But they will get one it". I nodded.

"could you imagine us actually being parents" i asked thinking in my head of Josh holding a small baby and playing with a toddler, and being a dotting father. "scary as hell" he replied. "so you don't think we could do it even remotely?" i asked. "no.. i me yeah we probably could" he said, " it's just a lot for you to give up". "i wouldn't mind" i told him, "It be worth it to me". "It's a lot to think about" he said, "but we'll think about it". "yeah" I agreed.

"so do you want me to get you those crackers?" he asked changing the subject. "no" I replied, "i'll come out and make myself something". "okay" he said.

We both got dressed and walked out into the kitchen. Jessica and David were still asleep "i'm going to make some eggs and coffee" I said more thinking out loud than to Josh. "no" he replied, "orange juice.. no caffein". "excuse me" I said. "i read that online last night to" he told me, "caffein is not good for the baby, neither is seafood or deli meats". I looked at him and shook my head, "i love that you are looking out for me" , "but i'm having my coffee this morning or i will kill you". "mood swings" he replied and sat down. "stop" i said and began to get the coffee maker ready to make a small pot.

"so i was thinking we should go back today" Josh suggested as he put some bread in the toaster. "ugh" I replied, "I;m scared to tell anyone". "well you told Jess cats out of the bag" he informed me. I nodded knowing Jessica could keep a secret as well as the town cryer. "who should we tell first?" I wondered outloud. "the one less likely to kill me" Josh replied. I shook my head. "I think we should tell my mom first" I suggested. Josh groaned. 'well sorry but i think she trumps" I told him. "whatever, it has to be done eventually so yeah we'll tell her first" he agreed. "thank you" I replied and walked over and kissed him cheek than back over to the stove.

The smell of the coffee must have woken Jessica and David because they were out in the kitchen soon after it was done brewing. "should you be drinking that?" Jessica asked me as she sat down. "why?" I replied taking a sip. "because your pregnant" she informed me. I looked at her like she had lost her mind. "um okay it's coffee not beer" I told her taking another sip. "still isn't it really bad for you when your pregnant?" she asked. I rolled my eyes. "you guys need to stop googling everything" I told them. "well if it helps I don't give a fuck what you do" David said. We all looked at him than I laughed. "love you to David" I said sarcastically.

"so what's the plans today?" He asked. "well were going home" Josh told them. "home?" Jessica said disappointed, "but we just got here!". "well I'm sorry" Josh said, "but we have shit to deal with". "she'll still be pregnant monday" Jessica sulked. Josh shook his head . "well i'm sorry princess Jess" He said. "fuck you" Jessica replied and got up and sulked back into her bedroom.. "rawr" he said. "she'll get over it" I said. "yeah" he responded. David didn't get up to go after her or anything. "right" I said, "I'm going to go pack up my stuff".

Jessica was still sulking an hour later when Josh and I packed up the car to head back. we had compromised that he and I would go back to town and she and David could have the cabin to themselves and we would come back up the next night to pick them both up.

Neither Josh nor I talked on the way home, i felt like I was siting on pins and needles as we drove, i figured he felt the same. The ride seemed to drag on, and by the time we reached town my stomach was in knots and I was extremely nervous and scared to tell my mother that i her 18yr old daughter was fresh out of high school with a bun in the oven.

"you alright?" Josh asked looking over at me as we drove into town. I nodded and looked out the window. "you look a bit pale" he added. "I always look like I'm pale" I reminded him. he smirked and nodded. "i'm just freaking petrified to tell mom" I said taking in a deep breath. "it'll be okay" he said trying to reassure me. "i really hope so" i replied. "i'm not to worried about your mom or my dad but Jess's mom tends to be a self righteous bitch" he said. "hey" I replied, "She is not that bad". "yeah well "Josh replied. "be nice" I said. "oh i am" he replied and we both laughed. The laughter helped with some of the tension but i was still nervous as hell when we pulled up to my house. "fuck.. fuck.. fuck" i said feeling myself get more anxious. "settle down" Josh urged, "your over stressing yourself". "i know" I replied. I took a few more deep breaths than the two of us got out of the car and walked up towards the house. The walk itself seemed to drag on to and my heart was pounding like a jack hammer, we walked up the steps and I lead the way inside slowly.

i could hear the TV playing in the living room so I knew that my mother was in there, Josh reached over and took my hand and it helped calm my nerves only slightly. "ready?" he asked quietly. "ready as i'll ever be" I replied and sucked in a deep breath than the two of us walked into the living room.

"Taylor" Mom said when she saw us come into the living room, "I thought you were gone all weekend?". "we were" I replied, "but we came back early". "alright" she said and returned her attention back to the tv. "No.. Mom I need to talk to you" I said, "we.. Need to talk to you". She turned her eyes back to us and muted the TV. "okay?" she asked looking us over. "um Mom… " I said trying to think of a way to spit it out, "I uh.. ". I looked to Josh for help but he didn't open his mouth he just sat there, it kind of irritated me. "spit it out" my mother urged. "I just don't know" I told her, "how i can tell you". I could tell she was getting annoyed with my stalling. "Taylor c'm0n now if your going to tell me get on with it" she barked. "just do it" Josh urged as he squeezed my hand. I looked over at him than back at my mom, i thought it was best like a band aid just get it over with so i closed my eyes and spit it out quickly,

"Mom I'm Pregnant!" I told her.


End file.
